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A "Black Men Only" Discussion

By D'Angelo Gore

Photo credit: Images by Michael Scott Jones At the end of the workshop, audience members challenged themselves to continue building alliances.

By D'Angelo Gore
Black College Wire

The workshop was for �black men only,� and about 50 of them turned the opportunity into a dialogue about subjects that often don�t come up in their everyday conversations: relationships, money, power and fatherhood.

The men who gathered at All Souls Unitarian Church in Washington on July 17 came from around the nation and were of different ages, educational levels and occupational backgrounds. They were drawn to the symposium, part of a State of Black Men in America tour, by the promise of a discussion about effective responses and some solutions to problems encountered throughout black communities.

They also liked the promise that they could speak freely, since they would be talking among themselves.

�Men always seem to speak more openly and honestly when women aren�t around,� said Kevin Powell, a political, social and cultural speaker and commentator and creator of the tour.

Led by facilitator Sal Corbin, a professor of psychology at Northern Virginia Community College, the men talked about the impact that healthy relationships have on becoming better men. When the questioning turned to why so many black men seem to have trouble sustaining relationships, hands reached high into the air and mouths shouted sex, infidelity, respect, money, and lack of communication as some of the reasons.

Although the men struggled to agree on whether men or women were to blame for most failed relationships, there seemed to be a consensus that men who are honest with themselves have a better chance of making relationships work.

Facilitator Sal Corbin, a psychology professor, found a sparser turnout on Saturday as men talked about the impact of relationships.

�We have to step up to the plate and demand ownership,� said A. Scott Bolden, a lawyer who is chairman of the District of Columbia Democratic Party.

The second workshop, facilitated by Bolden and Theodore N. Carter, president and CEO of the National Capital Revitalization Corp., D.C.'s publicly chartered economic development firm, addressed the need for African American men to become smart about business and develop a sense of economic empowerment.

Carter used examples from the popular films �Any Given Sunday� and �Barbershop� to show the importance to black men of individual and collective ownership.

Powell injected that he realized that �in order to talk about anything,� he �needed to own something.�

Some of the men said there was too much emphasis on making money. But Carter told them that if black men were to take care of themselves and their families, they needed to have money and to use it effectively. Bolden also encouraged the men to consider entrepreneurship, saying, �if all you want is a job, then you are living in consumerism.�

The fatherhood workshop, facilitated by Jabari Asim, senior editor of the Washington Post Book World, columnist for the Washington Post Writers Group and father of five, allowed the young black men in particular to speak out about concerns about parental duties that they had for themselves, for friends and for family members.

Studies show that one of the most daunting tasks for black men is fatherhood. According to research by the Kansas City-based Urban Father/Child Project, fatherless urban children are at a greater risk for negative outcomes than any other group.

The session, which was held later in the afternoon, suffered from a lack of attendance and veered off course for a while, but did offer effective ways to combat problems with parental rights and blended families.

One participant, Anthony Fletcher, said the tour filled an urgent need. �I have not been to an event where black men could listen to one another without arguing and fighting since the Million Man March� in 1995, said Fletcher, 45, a network engineer.

A father of three, Fletcher emphasized the need for older black men to be positive role models in the lives of their younger counterparts, especially those who feel they do not have a future. Raised among five sisters by a single mother, Fletcher recalled what it was like not having a male role model in his life. Inspired to give back to the community, Fletcher said he hoped that others had as well.

Powell said he did not believe that the success of the tour should be measured by the number who attend, but by the actions of those who come, listen, learn and act. �Those who are supposed to be here will be here,� Powell said. �We are looking for the small victories.�

At the end of the workshop, the men in the room challenged themselves to continue in the process of building alliances among African American men in Washington and around the country.

The tour plans to visit Chicago, Dallas and Los Angeles in 2004 and Houston, Philadelphia, Oakland, Calif., and Miami next year.

The D.C. event followed stops this year in Atlanta, New York, Detroit and Newark, N.J.

D�Angelo Gore is a student at Norfolk State University.

Posted July 23, 2004