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Don't Let Your Eyes Blind You

By Lakeisha Hughes
Black College Wire

Lakeisha Hughes

Have you ever noticed something about someone that causes you think negatively about them?

Maybe it's the way the person looks, the clothes, the hair, or just the total appearance. Maybe you have heard rumors.

But you don't know who this person is; you just know what you have seen and heard.

I met a girl last year during my freshman year. Her name was Jessica, but everyone called her "Big J" or "Titanic," because of her enormous size.

She was heavier than most overweight young women her age.

We had English together. Each time she walked into the classroom, someone would burst into laughter, and other students would snicker.

Not having many fashionable clothes because of her weight, she was forced to wear mismatched outfits. She was considered very unattractive, and did not have many friends. No one gave her the time of day, based on her appearance.

One evening, I went to the cafeteria with a bunch of my soccer teammates, laughing as we sat down at a table in a big group to eat. I noticed Jessica sitting all by herself at a table across the room, occasionally glancing around at her peers.

Watching them as they ate with their friends, then looking down at her as she ate in solitude, my heart was dismayed as I thought how sad she must have felt.

I picked up my food and told my teammates that I was going to go eat with her.

They tried to prevent me from going there. They said she was fat, lazy, ugly and stupid, and that by sitting with her I would be considered a loser, just like her.

Leaving my teammates, I went to Jessica's table. I asked if could I eat with her. With question and disbelief in her eyes, she said "yes." We ate, drank, talked, laughed; ate, drank, talked and laughed some more.

It turns out that Jessica and I had a lot in common. She enjoyed drawing, reading, writing music and poetry as much as I did.

We talked until the cafeteria workers made us leave. We walked and talked until we had to go our separate ways, heading to our dormitory halls.

As I walked by myself to my dorm, I smiled. I smiled because I was proud of myself for not letting what others said or what my eyes saw stop me from getting to know Jessica for myself.

She was a really cool person, and I would never have known that if I had let my eyes blind me from getting to know what others could not see.

I had gotten to know her more on a personal basis inwardly, rather than on an impersonal level outwardly.

View people not only based on their looks, but on their character as well.

Don't neglect the person within. You could be missing out on someone who could change your life.

He or she could become a good friend and possibly a partner in a relationship.

Test your assumptions. Don't let what you cannot see keep you from discovering what is invisible.

Lakeisha Hughes, a student at Southern University, writes for the Southern Digest.

Posted May 31, 2005