I'm Not Returning to Dillard

By Ashley R. Harris
Black College Wire

Photo credit: Victoria Hoover/photo editor, The Daily Cougar Ashley R. Harris

I am not going back to Dillard University. The decision feels bittersweet.

My choice to stay in Houston was tough. I agonized for weeks.

I'm in a position that is no one's fault. I have weighed risks and safety, comfort and discomfort, sentiments and practicalities and what's best for my educational future. My answer came by prayer and an honest assessment of my situation.

As I sit in the backyard of my parents’ house in the Houston suburb of Missouri City, Texas, typing away on this unseasonably warm winter day, I cannot help but think about my fellow Dillard students. They already have resumed classes in hotel meeting rooms, instead of the familiar halls of Dillard.

Students who have returned to New Orleans are living and studying in the Hilton New Orleans Riverside hotel. The campus is still undergoing repairs. Ravaged by Hurricane Katrina and its floods in August, Dillard now operates as a much smaller college in a consortium with nearby Tulane, Loyola and Xavier universities. I fully understand that the universities in New Orleans are doing all they can to offer students the best possible education under the circumstances.

I had to do my best after evacuating to Houston, leaving behind nearly everything I had, dusting myself off, applying for aid and starting over.

I had more than myself to think about: Other Harrises who lost their homes to the floods in New Orleans sought shelter in Houston, too. Like many families, we are not ones to sit and feel sorry for ourselves. We pick ourselves up and carry on with dignity. We supported each other and helped each other to carry on, even with a lack of information and, for a while, a lack of resources, and amid the images of destruction, devastation and the dehumanization of our people, who were portrayed as savages.

As the days turned into weeks, family members began to spread and go to their new homes, some in Washington, some in Huntsville, Ala., many still in Houston. For some, getting settled into their own places meant they could finally exhale somewhat.

Amid all this, my priority was getting back in school, weeks after the start of fall classes. At the time, Dillard was closed indefinitely. I enrolled at the University of Houston, my third school in five years.

I began my college education at the U.S. Air Force Academy. I was attending one of the most prestigious schools in the nation, playing Division I volleyball and training to become an Air Force officer. I left the academy in May 2004 and transferred to Dillard, my parents' alma mater. I fell in love with Dillard and New Orleans. I became a leader on campus and was excited to begin the 2005 school year as editor of the Courtbouillon newspaper.

When I first arrived at University of Houston, I was overwhelmed by everything that was happening. To top that off, I could never seem to find my way around the sprawling campus. It was tough to adjust to the class sizes: My largest class at Dillard had 14 students. At the University of Houston, it was 90.

At Dillard, I made friends easily because of the small, familial environment. At Houston, it's hard to meet anyone because of the come-and-go commuter-campus atmosphere.

However, most all of my professors were extremely kind and helpful, as were my classmates. They made me feel welcome and comfortable, and while it wasn't Dillard, I found a certain level of comfort in my new surroundings. Last semester, I took five classes. I earned a 3.06 grade-point average for the semester and am very proud of it, considering the circumstances.

The opportunities to succeed at Houston seem to be limitless for the student with the right drive and will to succeed. However, not to gush over my new school –- for no school is perfect –- I do miss the close-knit environment at Dillard, where there seemed to be genuine care and concern for my welfare and my success as a student.

I miss the whole flavor of New Orleans, and everything the city represented.

In November, I visited New Orleans to retrieve what I could. Although crews and officials were working hard to bring the city back, New Orleans is not ready for university students, in my humble opinion. The city still looked destroyed. The devastation was palpable through the eerie quiet.

Even as the university reopening dates approached, so much remained uncertain. I hear reports about water purity, the cleanliness of the city and crime. Every report differs. As late as December, Dillard students were told we might be staying on cruise ships should we choose to return. That housing option ultimately was rejected. I was definitely against that idea, but I didn't feel any more comfortable with the alternative of staying in a hotel.

Ultimately, I had to look at what both Dillard and the University of Houston had to offer. Receiving a healthy scholarship from Houston for my next semester helped. It didn’t hurt that the university accepted close to all of my transferable credit hours. I’m not sure whether I’ll be graduating in May, after the summer, or in December, but I’m OK with that.

Leaving the loving embrace of Dillard's family for the formal handshakes of the University of Houston has been a shock to my system, but I know that it is preparing me for the world outside.

I also know that Dillard got me ready for the change. The beauty of the school is that it builds you up so that when you leave, you have the confidence to face any situation. Being uprooted for the third time would not have been as easy if I had not experienced that build-you-up philosophy.

In an odd way, the separation has strengthened our friendships. We miss each other dearly, and know one day we will see each other again. Hurricane Katrina might have pushed us to every coast, but it could not sever the bonds of friendship.

I remember fondly all the fun I had in New Orleans. No amount of floodwater could fade or warp those memories. More important, I won’t let it dampen my spirit or determination to accomplish my goals.

As the nation moves forward, and Katrina becomes more and more an afterthought, all that I have learned from the experience will stay with me -– at the University of Houston and for the rest of my life.

Ashley R. Harris is a senior print communications major at the University of Houston. This is part of a special 2006 series appearing in THE BLACK COLLEGIAN Magazine Second Semester Super Issue through a collaboration by Black College Wire (BlackCollegeWire.org) and THE BLACK COLLEGIAN (Blackcollegian.com), now celebrating its 35th publishing year. It may be reprinted intact with this credit included.

Posted Jan. 13, 2006