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Why I Am Returning to Dillard

By Shawnee McFarland
Black College Wire

Shawnee McFarland

The depression that haunted me during the days following Hurricane Katrina now seems a distant memory, one that contrasts sharply with the life I am building at the New Orleans Hilton Riverside hotel, temporary home of Dillard University.

My entire life has changed. The twin-size bed in the single apartment I decorated days before the August storm has been replaced by hotel furniture. I have a table for a desk, and a soft hotel bed that feels great but still leaves the comfortable, yet temporary impression of a hotel.

When I first entered Dillard, I never would have expected to be spending my senior year in a downtown hotel instead of on historic Avenue of the Oaks in the heart of the Gentilly area of once-thriving New Orleans. I returned to the tattered city and the temporary campus Jan. 5 to discouraging lines and what would be a very long manual registration process. It took four hours to maneuver through the lines at the Hilton, but it was worth every minute.

With every story of survival and every warm greeting from old friends, the process became easier and shorter. I realized exactly how much I had missed not only my school’s physical campus, but the community we had built. Just as pastors remind their congregations that the church is within the people, I have realized that I love Dillard because of the community. Students, faculty, administration, parents and alumni are making me more grateful daily that I decided to attend Dillard in the beginning and to return this semester.

When I saw familiar faces during our first days at the Hilton, we hugged and shared tears and warm praise offerings. These were hugs that said from survivor to survivor, “I’m glad to see you.”

I could not see myself graduating from any other institution.

Life at the Hilton is not perfect, and Dillard still has its share of problems. Many of us are adjusting to the relocation. The Hilton does not have a place like the Avenue of the Oaks, or the first floor in Kearney Hall, for students to gather and socialize. Tension continues to build between students and those who enforce rules that say we cannot hang out in the hallways and in the hotel lobby.

Though my current living situation has its emotional imperfections, I have come a long way since my life was shattered immediately after the storm.

I am from Houston but I had built my life in New Orleans, and everything I owned and valued was in my first-floor apartment. When I learned that all my possessions were destroyed by floodwaters, I was clueless as to where I should start to rebuild my life. When I evacuated to Houston, I replaced what I could, but I still don’t have some of the little things that are a common part of our lives, such as dress socks or enough winter clothes.

Trying to find a university to attend while Dillard was closed was one of the last things on my mind, as I was trying to replace all I had lost. Choosing a new school became one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, because of my confusion and emotional brokenness.

I considered Texas Southern University, the University of Houston, Louisiana State University and Southern University before I finally decided to attend the University of Memphis. It was offering several forms of aid and had a good option for housing, several classmates informed me.

When the time came to choose whether to return to Dillard, the decision was simple. The huge investment I’d already made in Dillard was the main factor. Contributing also was the lack of cultural awareness at Memphis, which made me miss Dillard’s community. At Memphis, I would pass by other African American students and we would never be cordial or speak to each other. There was no community. I also missed having a personal relationship with my professors.

At Dillard, students recently sat in on a field hearing of the U.S. House Subcommittee on Housing and Community Opportunity, meeting in New Orleans to hear some of the problems surrounding the rebuilding of New Orleans. Events like these, and others that are soon to come, show our government and our community that as students we want an active role in the decision making and the rebuilding.

For me, graduate school applications have taken the place of emergency assistance applications. Though I have nowhere near completed my personal rebuilding process, participating in my school’s and the city’s renewal is a major priority.

Shawnee McFarland is a senior mass communications major at Dillard University. This is part of a special 2006 series appearing in THE BLACK COLLEGIAN Magazine Second Semester Super Issue through a collaboration by Black College Wire (BlackCollegeWire.org) and THE BLACK COLLEGIAN (Blackcollegian.com), now celebrating its 35th publishing year. It may be reprinted intact with this credit included.

Posted Jan. 30, 2006