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'Why Did I Get Married?'

By Jasmine Kelsey
Black College Wire

During our college years, we all start small paths that lead to big lives full of adventure and lasting history. We all become authors of our own books as we move forward in our journey.

Jasmine Kelsey

A majority of students join sororities and fraternities adapting to brotherhood and sisterhood. Many others find reputations through education, open career opportunities and school activities or organizations. Some jump ahead of others, growing families, paying bills and maintaining jobs.

But only a few bring along life-companions through their college episodes. I'm a student who will finish school in holy matrimony. I ultimately joined forces with the man I'd been with since high school.

For many, marriage is an unpredictable stepping stone to hop on. In June 2006, I chose to take a leap at faith and get married. I was 20 years old and going through a phase where my first instinct was the best. Before I knew it, I was a working, married college student facing challenges back and forth with my husband, co-workers and peers. Often, I'm asked the million-dollar question: "Why did I get married?"

It seems today that marriage is quick games to some, while others stay in it until death. Marriage to me is a stronger relationship between two people that includes better understandings and a well-built commitment. It can stem from a long-lasting relationship or true love and it can all fall apart from miscommunication, finances and infidelity.

It's always best to know where you are going with yourself before you decide to carry on life with anyone else. When we first decided to get married, we took the time to find out exactly what we wanted to do with our lives. Unfortunately, we learned that it was rather tough creating the perfect life as long as we faced minor problems and hardships. We also learned that it does take time, the ability to focus and harmony in order to break through challenges and endure a balanced happy marriage.

Sometimes I think crazy thoughts about my marriage and feel as though I should be getting paid for being married. While I am a full-time student, assistant to school organizations and full time employee, I am also a woman who has to go along with her husband throughout the day and at home. It gets overwhelming at times, but at the end of the day, I rest happy.

Many people think that I was too young to get married. I never thought about my age when I decided to get married. Instead, I thought about my future. I have not missed anything that some people assumed I would be missing if I got married at the age 20. My husband and I still live our lives the same was most young adults live. The only thing different is that we wake up together. As of now, we are working toward our future goals and making plans to make a major move in life soon.

Marriage is a one-stop life decision that should be taken seriously. It's not a contract that should be broken when one feels that he wants out. It should be thought about and not rushed into.

Being married for over a year has been an adventure for me. It enhanced my mind to understand men and women on different levels and to view all types of relationships. Although I chose to get married at a young age, I don't regret it or find it to be a 'scary life decision', as some would refer to it. I do, though, find it hard at times and wish I had easier resolutions to my relationship and life itself. But what relationship doesn't go through problems at times?

Articles in the "Voices" section represent the opinions of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black College Wire. Jasmine Kelsey is editor of The Courtbouillon, the Dillard University student newspaper, which originally published this article.